Stupefied you

How did we get here? All the faces around you ask the same question. But seriously, does anyone actually know. You still search for the answer. You are not willing to give up on it yet. A volley of questions hit you in the face. Over and over, same old, same old. You keep telling yourself you need to know; it is vital to know in order to forget. But memory is a wretched curse. It always has been.
You lie, chemically altered and snippets from various trips flash before your eyes. You wonder. You hit a replay button, day my day, moment by moment. What was the turning point; the beginning of the end? Is it still ending or is it a new beginning already? Going through the motions- people say that’s what it’s all about. But what happens when you keep going through someone else’s motions instead of your own? The strange lingering fear of there actually being no motion of your own at all; Just the horrid lull. No you, only a stupefied version of what you used to be.